Stephanie ~RiCkY~

2009-10-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

We hear the voice,

love is a choice.

Faith is believing,

without really leaving.

Trust is a must,

without it, it's rust

To love, care and share,

we make ourselves aware

that God's will is hard,

so let's be on our guard

We all try to do what's right. Our aim in life is to do God's will. We aspire to be like Jesus. But let's face it, none of us are perfect. What we can do however, is try and pray for God's guidance. With his help, anything is possible. He wants us to love him and to love each other. But loving involves caring and sharing. It's hard, i know. We screw up. But God's always there to help us and get us back on our feet again. So yeah, let's make it our aim to be like Jesus. Whenever it feels like everything's gone wrong, just remember Philipians 4:13. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"....All my friends in Singapore, who are stressing out abt ur O's...Just remember, if u do ur best, God will do the rest:)BEST WISHES!:)

2009-10-06T01:15:00.001-07:00

BLAH, i know i havent updated in ages but yeah, here's a quick update:) I'll be back in Singapore in December till January. I'll text u guys with my singapore phone when im back. BTW, those who have been asking me who im going out with, it's Aaron:)

2009-08-13T03:55:00.000-07:00

Going out with him now:) Since Tuesday night actually:) Best night of my life:) The 11th of August:) Thanks to everyone who has been through this with me and those who helped me get my feelings sorted out:) Jane, Jeremy, Toby, Mel and Shagun:) Love you guys:) Jeremy,I just love you extra:) Anyway, thanks and I know this relationship is going to work. In case you haven't realised, I love him alot. Words can't even describe it:) By the way, you guys can tell Clara that i'm straight now:):) I LOVE YOU ALL:) And JEREMY LOVES SASHA:)

2009-08-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

2 nights of crying is enough. Look on the bright side. You're enjoying yourself in heaven. I'll miss you but i know that you're having a great time:)I love you ricky! I'm dedicating this post to you. You were the best dog that i've ever had. You made me feel safe, you protected me. You loved me and you cared for me. When i was upset, you never left my side. When i was happy, you were always there to rejoice with me. I love you and no one can ever take your place. RIP. I love you and i want you to know that. I'm sorry that i didn't get to see you one last time before you went. But i love you. You're the world's greatest dog and my best friend:) I know that you still love me and that you're still looking out for me:) Memories last forever. You'll always be in my thoughts:) I LOVE YOU! I'll see you in heaven someday:) Until then, enjoy yourself and i love you.

2009-07-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

You have a point. I should tell you whenever i'm angry. The level of anger is building up....It's so high that it's not even funny....I don't know who you are anymore....You're 2 different people. You're different when you're with your friends and when you're with me. Why? I don't know which person you really are. Please tell me i'm not falling for someone who's going to hurt me in the future. I believed in you 100% until yesterday's talk with him. He made me question the trust i had in you. You say you love me, but do you really mean it? I don't know if you're like every other guy. Most guys go into relationships for sex but you're different. You're special. You believe in the same things that i do...I really hope that i made the right choice by placing my trust in you. ily:)

2009-07-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

Holidays with homework are just like normal school days. The only difference is that we don't get to see our friends as often. Now that you're gone, i've been doing some serious thinking. I don't know if i'm even thinking straight. Jez, i need you. I need you to tell me if i'm doing the right thing or if i'm thinking straight. You said do the right thing. But what is the right thing in this situation? You said i should trust myself & follow my heart. What if my heart is wrong? I'm not even thinking straight. Jez, i need you......

2009-07-09T22:58:00.000-07:00

8 days without you? It'll probably be the longest 8 days of my life. Well, i'll probably be bored but i know that there's one thing i can do. Go out and do good deeds. Isn't that our purpose in life? To do God's work and help others? I'm sure you'll want me to continue even if you're not around. Anyway, have a great trip! Enjoy yourself! I love you:) And i know you love me too:) Anyway, have fun! I'll miss you!!!! But yeah, i know it's for a good cause:) Hope i didn't make you sick:) Haha, posting abt you while you're on ur flight. How cool is that. If only u could use ur phone on the plane. I love you! TO ALL MY BLOG READERS: I'm not going out with Aaron. We're just best friends. I dont understand why guys & girls cant be best friends without people thinking that they're together. Time is of the essence. Time is needed for you to get to know a person. And guess what, i love all the times i've spent with him & i treasure every single moment spent with him:) They're treasures in my heart:) LOL:) Jez, i love you too:) I know you read my blog all the time:) You're one of my greatest friends too:) You and Aaron are my 2 greatest friends. I'll never be able to live life without you'll. I love you both & thanks for always being there for me:) Long post? Oh well, if you have time to read that, you have the time to leave a tag. HINT FOR JEZ. You always read my blog but u never leave tags:)

2009-07-06T00:26:00.001-07:00

I'll make this short & simple so that you guys will take time to read it. ABORTION is wrong. Abortion is murder. Abortion is cruel. Abortion kills. Abortion is taking away the chance for a person to experience life on earth. Abortion is killing a person before he/she gets to fulfill her life's purpose. Sex is not for pleasure. The main purpose for sex is reproduction. You should not have sex if you're not prepared for a child. What if you got raped? There are other options...such as giving it away for adoption. There are millions of women in this world who would love children but can't have any. What if you were the child being aborted? How would you feel? Think about it. These unborn babies are living things too. They should be given the same opportunity to experience life on earth. Come on everyone,let's do our part to stop abortion. We can bring the abortion rates down if we all do our part.

2009-06-13T03:43:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like the world was falling apart? When everything is just wrong and nothing seems right? Today is one of those days. When you have one of those days, what you would want is to be surrounded by your best friends. That's what i want. But i can't have it. My cousin's here and i can't go out:) Well, it's great having her here but i really miss you. ALOT. I want you, i need you, i love you. Thanks for being here. Even though you're not physically here, you're always mentally with me:) Your messages...It just reminds me of the reason i smile:) It's you! You're always there. You love me in the greatest way. I just love being loved by you. And i wish i could love you back the same way. In fact, i do. But you probably don't feel it:) Or maybe you do. Just stay with me & don't ever leave me:) I love you:) My smooth, long haired hero:)

2009-06-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

Heather's coming today! I'm so excited:) Miss her:) I'll have someone to sleep with me again:) Yup, we fight alot but deep down, we still love each other...Haha, that sentence reminds me of Aaron. LOL, we annoy each other ALOT but he's still a great friend and i can always count on him:) And Jez:) Jez is just special:) I tried to bite him, i hit him all the time and i tried to pull his hair out:) But he still doesn't hate me:) LOL:) Lesley's birthday yesterday:) I'm gonna dedicate this post to her. (But she doesn't know my URL). And Jez, don't give it to anyone....

Lesley, life would be so boring without you.
You make me smile, you hold me back.
You keep me from making silly mistakes.
Physics lessons with Mr Heath....
Usually boring but you make it fun:)
When i need you, you're always there.
When i freak out, you keep me calm.
When i feel stupid, you make me feel smart.
I love you and i want you to have the best birthday ever:)

Happy Sweet 16:) I love you:)
xoxo

Yup, i should probably tidy up my house now:) I love you all!

2009-06-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

Exams are over! I'm so relieved:) I don't have to worry about anything else....Here are my ratings from 1-10 for each exam....
English-2
Maths-8
Specialist-4
Chem-6
Physics-4
Bio-3
Yup, i probably failed most of my exams but i don't care:) It's over:) I get to relax & daydream about my fantasy world:) Everything is so good in my fantasy world. Fairies floating all around, flowers are trees, colourful butterflies....And one prince all to myself:) Yup, no one ever gets sad in my fantasy world:) It's a happy place:) Went out with Shagun, Mel & Lesley today:) Met Shaun & Duncan:) They're great! Duncan's just good at all games. We were too amazed and we didn't dare to challenge him:) Except for Shaun:) Shaun's really good too:) He won 3 bunnies and gave 2 of them to me:) One's pink and the other is yellow:) I love them both:) They're so cute:) ( I mean the bunnies)....Shaun, i'll treasure you for the rest of my life:) Give me chocolates or soft toys & you're in my memory forever:) Or you can just be like Aaron and be sweet & caring:) That will work too:) Or like Jez, who never runs out of advice:) Even when i say things to hurt him, he'll always forgive me:) Duncan gave me a whole pack of lollies:) It's nice but i'll probably become fat ( and it'll be his fault). He has training today:) Pip, you're just great:) And really hot ( i mean it literally). Just touch him, it's like as if he just came out of a fire:) Jez, of course you get a mention:) Like i said, my life revolves around you. I wouldn't know what to do without you:) You just know what to do or say:) And even when i talk about Aaron too much, you still listen:) You're great:)

2009-06-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks Jez, i have to password-protect my blog now....Kidding:) You know everything anyway:) So it doesn't really matter:) But if you give anyone my URL, i'll probably kill you and then password-protect it:) I blog abt him too much? LOL, i dont think i do:) It's my blog anyway:) It's meant for me to post abt my feelings and opinions:) And i happen to be thinking about him alot....Strange? Well, i am a strange person:) Jez, you're always bullying me but you're still a good friend:) Any exams tmr? Cause if you don't, it means that i have to walk to school alone & i'll probably start talking to myself:) Zhiying....Why aren't you allowed to use the com? Messaging you is too expensive for both of us. Yeah, you can send me letters. I'll message you my address:):)

2009-06-04T23:52:00.001-07:00

4 down, 2 to go:) If i could make it through 4, i can make it through another 2:) Left with physics & Specialist:) Mon and Wednesday. I'm free after wednesday:) Zhiying, i miss you! San, i miss your cuddles:)I know this is a short post but hey, i have exams to study for. ily Aaron:)

2009-06-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

Thanks Aaron:) You're just amazing! You believe in me even when i don't believe in myself. You do wonders for a person's confidence:) You're just great! You helped me through 3 exams. I would never have been able to it without your motivating messages. It's really good to know that you'll always be here for me. You're the reason i wake up with a smile on my face every morning. I just know that there's someone who will always believe in me:)You're the greatest friend anyone can ever have:) Ily

2009-05-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

Am i over-friendly or something? When i'm nice, guys tend to think that i'm in love with them. Apparantly, i give guys the wrong signals. When i'm not friendly, they complain. What do you want from me???? They only people that really understand me are Jez and Nick. They do not take things the wrong way. I LOVE YOU GUYS=) Other people like Z______ , M_______and R_________ thinks that i'm in love with them. Why cant we just be friends and nothing more????
To Jez and Nick: I'm so lucky to have friends like you. You're understanding and always there=) Jezza, why can't all guys be like you? I can answer that question. You're the best amongst them=) Well, may ur positive influence rub off on them=)

*I love Jez and Nick*

2009-05-06T04:24:00.000-07:00

BEWARE of people hacking into ur account. Someone hacked into my school email and sent Jon a message saying " I love you". He actually thought it was me. How could someone who knows me so well not know that it wasn't me who sent the message? I would never send him that. I don't even love him. He's my friend but why would i be in love with him? He actually believed that i wrote the email despite knowing that i like another guy. I dont blame him but i just thought he would have known.Some people do not know you as well as you think. Wow. If someone hacked into his account and sent me that email, i would have known that it wasn't him. Friends know when it is not the other friend on the other end. Take Audrey for example. She definitely knows me well. Someone was chatting with her using my MSN account and she immediately picked up that it wasn't me she was talking to. Those are the type of people who know me. I don't know if Jon is actually my friend. Friends do not take advantage of each other. Friends are always there when you need them ( eg Jez). Friends are interested in your life and always want to know more. Friends do not use your mum to get to you. Friends do not cross the line. Are you my friend? I ask myself that question everyday? If you're not my friend, then who are you?

2009-05-02T05:37:00.000-07:00

Guys always have two sides. Be careful! They're not what they appear to be. Most of them aren't. They lie. They do anything it takes to impress you. Guess what? It hurts even more when I find out from YOUR friends. You could have just told me. I would have understood. I could have helped you. You said that you didn't drink. You're the king of drinks and apparantly, you get drunk all the time. Seeing you with other girls makes me jealous. I have to admit that. Your hugs...They feel warm. I wanna be in that position forever. I dont care if you only did it because you were drunk. If it's gonna mean no drinks at all, please stop. I don't want to leave. I don't want to forget you. But you leave me with no choice. I'm gonna give you another chance. Everyone needs a second chance. Please make the right decision. I love you:)

2009-04-22T04:07:00.000-07:00

Why are holidays called holidays when we still get homework? The homework load is heavier than that on normal school days. Well, i think that's just unfair. Holidays is a time for us to relax and be homework-free. There isn't a single day where we do not get homework. I realised something. When i like a teacher, i tend to do well in that subject. When i hate a teacher, i will not do well in that subject. Strange but true. I found out that most of my friends drink illegally and some of them have *** even though they are underaged. Everyone says that i will give in to peer pressure and that my willpower isn't strong enough. Well, it may be true, it may not be true. Whether it's true or not, Jez is gonna make sure that i stay away from alcohol till i'm 18 and no one can ever make me have ***. so that's not a problem. Jeremy, thanks. Even when i feel strange and different, u're always there to make me think otherwise. ALl my friends drink and i felt left out. But there comes Jez to change the way i think:) I love you and i'm really lucky to have a friend like you. J_N, i'm sorry. I love you too but you're just leading me the wrong way. You make me do things that are wrong and when i don't want to do it, you laugh at me. You're nice and fun to be with but you're not a good friend. You talk about me, you share my secrets. You can never keep anything to yourself. Learn from Jez=) Nicholas, i love you too ( as a friend). Had to say that because ur gf may think i'm in love with u or something. Thanks for supporting me & encouraging me:)

Had a great time in Singapore. Thanks to everyone who made it a great holiday. Santhiya, spending time with you has always been fun and interesting. Shopping, eating and just being together. It made me realise how much i miss you and how much i need you. I don't care about the rest. They come and they go. You're always there. Even when it is a busy week, you will always make time for me:) I love you! Aunty Shoba and Uncle Doc, thanks for letting us stay with you. It was great! You're a great cook and i had a good time just being with you. I got to know you more. Uncle Tony, thanks for taking care of ricky and champaigne:) You're the best uncle ever=) Desiree, Abby, Joel, Heather, Colby , Prashanth and Audrey, you made this trip a fun and enjoyable one:) Thanks everyone. Sorry if i missed out anyone. I love you all and you know it:)

2009-04-03T23:35:00.001-07:00

Alright. Bad news. I forgot my password to my other account. I'm using my other account right now. ilovereymysterio01@hotmail.com
Add me if you know me. Otherwise, just ignore that part. Wow. Guess what? I can't go for more than a day without talking to my friends. That's how important they are. It's strange. I went 2 weeks without talking to the guy i like but less than a day without talking to my friends. I was angry with Jan but it didn't last long. Got irritated with Matt,but didn't last long either. My friends are too important. I can't live without talking to them. But they're nice and understanding. Especially Matt. Even when i'm in a bad mood, he's still there for me=) I feel guilty though. When i'm in a bad mood, i tend to ignore the people around me. But he never gets angry! He's a really great friend:) Just like all of you:)
San
Zhiying
Suk
Nat
and those who know that u should be up here:)
I'll be in singapore next week! EXCITED!~

2009-03-31T02:32:00.000-07:00

Strangest week ever. Should i start with Jan, Mel, Matt or Lesley?
Hmmm, Mel comes first~ We had a CONVERSATION. And she now knows about my little crush on J. Well, i gotta admit, he can be nice when i need him to be. Walked home with her and did i mention, I LOVE HER MUM? She's really nice=) Ok,i'm saving the best for the last. So, Jan comes next. I learnt a lot of things about him, things that i never knew before. Well, i can actually relate to him. I know how he feels and sometimes, i just wonder if anyone knows how i feel. Well, he would definitely know how i feel if i talked to him about it. But he never gives me the chance to.
Lesley~ She's a monkey=) She never runs out of energy! My hyper-active friend who acts like a monkey! She never fails to amuse me. Matt, I'll never forget the INCIDENT. I will nvr be able to stop myself from laughing when i see him.

I LOVE YOU LEMON:)

2009-03-21T04:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, we're friends again! It really makes everything better. It's like a world filled with rainbows and flowers. He makes the world so bright! Yup, it was a misunderstanding. He would never do anything to hurt me intentionally. Having him back is the best feeling ever! I would never want to lose a friend like him :) I have a great life! I'm surrounded with people who love me. All of you. Especially San and Zhiying. It's great right now but i'll be really sad because i will never get to spend his birthday with him again. He's leaving this year. and he's leaving early:)

2009-03-17T04:51:00.001-07:00

I thought i hated Chris and Jan. I don't. They're mean and they love irritating me, but when i really need them, they're always there for me. So yeah, i take back my word on Chris and Jan being mean people. They're not. Ok, enough about them. Good day today. Got back specialist results! 94%! And proud of it considering the fact i didn't study. I think i just got lucky. Chemistry test was extremely difficult! Just hope i don't fail that:D Anyway, here are my results if u want to know. Maths Test: 97%, Specialist Test: 94%, Chemistry: I don't know. Yup, will keep you updated. Zhi Ying, I miss you so much! I love you! Santhiya, why did u have to leave me?! Oh, if anyone wants to offer their advice on my love life, feel free to do so. I really need more opinions. It officially feels like a roller coaster. We have our ups and downs. We can be really close and actually hate each other the next day. We have not been talking for 2-3 weeks now. I feel really guilty but i don't know how to start the convo. HELP!

2009-03-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at home, thinking about all the negative things in my life when a thought struck me. I should be thinking about all the positive things in my life, not the negative things. Well, I did. And it worked. It gave me the inspirition and motivation i needed. I felt like i could do anything. Trust me, it works. Try it! Instead of sitting at home thinking about tests/exams or love, think about good grades, the fun times you had as a kid, playing at the playground, being with someone who made you feel safe. Think back to those happy moments. You will have a new perspective on life. It worked for me and it'll work for you. All you have to do is try.

2009-03-11T05:05:00.001-07:00

Jeremy, you're right. You know me more than i know myself. I actually thought things would work with LEMON but i was wrong. You knew he wasn't the one, you knew what i should do. You said i should just stop talking to him, and you know what? You're right. Talking to him is the worst feeling ever! It's a feeling of sadness, anger and hatred combined. It's the first time that i actually wished i didn't know him. David, I don't care anymore. You're not even worth a nickname. You made me angry, you broke my heart. The worst part is that you don't even know it and you act like evrything's ok. I actually love Mr heath more than you. Not that i love him. But the fact is, even a teacher is better than you. And i usually hate teachers. So yeah, from now on, we are like strangers who never met. I'm not talking to you, i'm not looking at you, i'm not even going to remember your name. This is the last time you're being included in my posts. After this, u're gone from my memory. My sweet yet horrible memories. Zhi ying, I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU! I NEED YOU! I WANT YOU! You have no idea how hard life is without you. Take care!

2009-03-03T01:58:00.000-08:00

I really don't understand you. You're complicated and unpredictable. When i talk to you, you act like you don't want to talk to me. When i ignore you, you act like i just pushed you off a building. You get angry when i ignore you and yet you don't treasure it when i do talk to you. Maybe Jeremy's right. I should just stop talking to you. You're not worth my thoughts anymore. I appreciate everything you've done for me but you're just not worth it anymore. I'm sorry! I don't want things to end this way but i have no choice.

2009-03-01T01:35:00.000-08:00

Loving you means risking my life. Oh well, i should just type something else that will distract me from you. My post has always been about you. Until now.
Steel is made up of carbon and iron. Carbon increases the hardness of iron and decreases its ductility. However, careful heating of the substance allows one to control the tradeoff between hardness and ductility. The carbon content influences the yield strength of steel because the carbon atoms fit into the interstitial lattice of the iron atoms. The interstitial carbon atoms increases mobility of dislocation, which in turn has a hardening effect on iron. When combined with molten iron, the interstitial carbon molecules insert themselves into the crystal lattice of the iron as it cools. This resulting molecular structure is harder to break than pure iron. Even steel seems more interesting than you right now.

2009-02-19T04:04:00.000-08:00

Alright. I am actually looking forward to the weekend. Weekends means free time:D
CE helped me understand one thing. The person that i want to get married to in the future has to be someone who makes me happy. Not the person who makes me sad or angry. Well, you are the person who makes me happy! Seeing the smile on your face makes me smile. I don't know if i will be able to survive next year without you. This year is already difficult. Next year will be even harder and the fact that you're not going to be around is making things even worst. You're the reason i go to school with a positive attitude:D Anyway, this will be a year that i'll treasure forever:D

2009-02-15T03:45:00.000-08:00

I made a valentine's day card for you! I spent most of my day doing it just to make it perfect. You deserve nothing but perfection. I just want you to know how much i love you. I wanna see your reactions when you read the card. Confessions, fantasies and reality. Can't wait for tmr! The first thing that i'm going to do when i find time is to look for you and give u the card. And a big hug! You bring sunshine's and rainbows to my life! Cya tmr!

2009-02-14T05:27:00.000-08:00

The jealousy i feel when i picture you in the arms of my lover. My future. On valentine's day. You're in the arms of the guy i love. The guy i want. The guy i need. I can picture you dancing with him, hugging him and even kissing him. It's all perfect except for one thing. It's not me he's dancing with. It's not me he's hugging. It's not me he's kissing. The worst part, i don't even know who you are. Your identity is private. If you love him as much as i do, why don't you make it public? What are you ashamed of? He's perfect! He's the man of MY dreams. I'll fight for him even if it means humiliating myself. That's how much i love him. I'm not gonna let you take him away just because you don't have anyone else. I'll give you someone else. Just give him back to me. I miss him! I miss chasing him and holding him. I want him back. It's the last year i have with him. Please don't take him away!

2009-02-11T04:01:00.000-08:00

Wow. I walk past you, you walk past me. Like strangers that never met. You try to smile, i walk away.Why? Because i want to get you out of my mind. You're stuck in there and it's making me lose concentration. Concentration, something i really need right now. You know i love you, I know i love you. Right now, we just have to pretend that all that just isn't true? You can't get distracted and neither can I. Not this year. We have other things to think about. But when you become a doctor, and i become a vet, we'll need each other. Your pets need me and i need you! Pursue your dreams now. Don't get distracted. I'm sorry if i've been avoiding you. I just can't let you lose focus. I still love you and i always will.

To everyone who wants to know when i'm going back, i'm not sure yet. I will post it on my blog whenever i'm going back alright? I miss you guys too! Especially my 5 fingers=)

-Suk
-San
-Zhi Ying
-Nat
-Prashanth

I'll never let you go! Like i said, you're my 5 fingers and every single finger plays an important role. I want to be with you. Right beside you. I loved being around you when we were happy, sad, angry and stressed. I loved every moment spent with you. It's a moment i treasure. Forever and ever.

Ricky, Kitty and Champaigne:
I miss you 3 too! Ricky, i know you still remember me. You always do. Even when i came back in October, you were the one who never stopped jumping and licking me. From Babies to Teens and now to adults, you've always been there for me. Sleeping together, crying together, laughing together and playing together. I still think about the times we spent together! Kitty, when i last saw you, you were still a little baby!The small little girl who used to sleep on my chest and purr....that soft, gentle purr....I know you've grown! I wanna see how big you are now. Champaigne, I'm sorry for always being mean to you. I just loved irritating you. But deep, down inside, i still love you and i always will:D

Take care everyone! steph loves you all:D

2009-01-24T04:33:00.000-08:00

You don't know how I'm feeling.
I have yet to vocalize
Desire deep inside me.
Can you see it in my eyes?

I tremble when I'm near you
Heat travels up my thighs
and I want you with an urgency
That I just can't describe.

Dare I reach out to touch you?
Do you think you'd realize
How much I want and need you?
Can you see it in my eyes?

I long to say, "I love you,"
But am scared of your reply.
Terrified like a child
I've become paralyzed.

The camouflaged emotions
Lead to pain and silent cries.
And yet I just can't tell you.
Don't you see it in my eyes?

Confessing through this poem
My dilemma summarized.
The feeling's quite cathartic,
But will lead to my demise.

2009-01-17T22:44:00.000-08:00

Having guests over for a bbq today. It's probably going to be boring since all the guests are adults. I'll try to have fun but it's going to be difficult. Got sunburnt while swimming and my face is covered in spots. I didn't spread the sunblock evenly. It's going to be embarrassing going out with a dotted face.

2009-01-17T03:09:00.000-08:00

Two weeks and three days to the start of school. Off goes the boring holidays and here comes the interesting school life. Friends. They are the reason i go to school and come back with a smile on my face. Are things going to be different this year? More work, less play. You may be gone, but are things really going to be that different? I ask myself that every night. Yes, you have made a big impact on my life but i will have my other friends there to pick me up. Holidays were boring. Using the computer, watching television, working and sleeping. School's starting. My brain is being put to work again. Good mental exercise i would say. Well, i am really looking forward to going up to Singapore.

2009-01-11T04:53:00.000-08:00

You turn the world around. You make me smile, you make me happy! I'm lucky to have a friend like you. Whenever i'm down, u're the one who makes me laugh! I lie in my bed, thinking of the times we spent together. Those happy memories that will never leave me. The times we spent playing, laughing, talking and just complaining. I only have one more year with you! And i want it to be the best year ever! Every second spent with you is a second worth remembering. You're the only one i'll love, the only one i'll care so deeply about. Thanks for loving me the way you do:D I LOVE YOU!

Please don't go!

2008-12-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

I don't want you to leave! You mean a lot to me. You're like one of my best friends. We just connect. Whenever i'm with you, i can just be myself. You've been there for me and i wanna be there for you too. Even if it means that i won't see you again! GOOD LUCK for the future! Well, maybe it's for the best! We promised to keep in contact though=) And i know you don't break promises. You hold my secrets. Secrets that i've never told anyone else. I hold your secrets too! And it'll be safe with me. Now and forever! It may have been a short while but we got really far. I've made a lifelong friend who will never leave me:D You're the one. When i'm down, you're always there to make me smile! When i'm alone, you're the one who keeps me company. When i'm confused, you help me straighten out my feelings. You're my brother, best friend, teacher.....You're my everything. You're the only one whom i trust right now. PLEASE DON'T GO!

2008-12-06T04:09:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicted to one of my best friends, Spud, who turned 16 today! Haven't done this in a long long time....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Hey, there are 16 Happy Birthdays for you! May all your best wishes and dreams come true! Thanks for always being there for me whenever i needed you. You're one year older now, which means that you have to be more mature! YAY! NO MORE teasing me! Haha kidding! Don't worry, I still love ya even though i always bully you! Ok, i gotta go now but this post is specially for you! Enjoy your day!

2008-12-03T01:38:00.000-08:00

Seeing you today really made my day. It was the happiest i have ever been since you left. After you left, i've been trying to find reasons to convince myself that i don't like you. But seeing you today made me happy again! The world turned over again! There was a smile on everyone's face! you changed the world. They may say that you're my bf. But i don't care as long as i get to see you:D That hug.....It meant so much to me! I just wanted that moment to last forever. I wanted to be held in your arms. It made me feel safe. Putting my arms around you makes me feel that you're always close by. Ignore all my strange dreams! They may be about other people but you're the one i love and no one can take your place. There's only one spot in my heart and it has been taken by you. I finally got the courage to tell you how much your insults hurt me. And that apology...That sincere apology just made me wanna cry. I just wish everyone could have been there to see it. That sincerity. it just makes me love you more and more. It doesn't matter if things aren't going to work out for us. Cause having you as a friend is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just wish i knew you earlier. I just wish you'd know how i feel about you. I LOVE YOU!

LEMON!

2008-11-27T03:35:00.000-08:00

I think i'm obssessed with you and obssession just makes my life miserable! It was fine when you insulted me once in a while. But you insult me every day. I used to be able to handle it thinking that it was just a joke. It's a bit too far now. I just can't take it anymore! You have no idea how much it hurts to be insulted by the guy you love. You mean everything to me. Seeing your face or hearing your name just makes me think of you. You're everywhere. I try to avoid you but it's difficult. You're just EVERYWHERE. I don't think we can be friends anymore. You broke my trust! And it will be impossible to gain it back.

2008-11-20T03:31:00.000-08:00

I'm glad OED camp is over! It was tiring but fun! Life's good. I'm still having problems adapting to the weather though! It's too cold! Miss the sunshine in Singapore! I want Ricky! I miss him! I have know one to sleep with and bully=) My cousin got back her PSLE results! 235=) YAY! Another member to the PL family! Anyone knows how to identify love? If you do, please tell me! I'm getting more and more confused thinking about LEMON. I don't know if i really like him or if i'm just imagining things. MSN! MSN! MSN! I'm addicted to MSN! I'm on9 like 24/7....And i'm back to runescape again! Blame it on Zack! He's too addictive=) And i play runescape with the hope of seeing him online! Miss him so much! He has always been the SMART one=) The one who tells me when something doesn't seem right, the one who knows what's right and what's wrong and the one who always knows what to do in any situation! He is my HERO! Had to go to the Justice of Peace today to take an oath on the affadavit. Why can't my dad just leave us alone and let us carry on with our lives? He's having a baby with Aunty Mary ( for those of you who know her)......And he tried to hide that fact from us! I would never have known about my sister if he hadn't told the court. I just hope that she doesn't have to go through whatever i did. I have nothing against her! Just because I hate my dad and aunty mary, doesn't mean that i have to hate her. She did nothing to me=) In fact, i just want her to be happy and lead a happy life! I will visit her but if i wanna do that, i'll have to see my dad....So that will be a problem. I'll do anything to make sure that she's happy....PERSONAL ISSUES ASIDE! Ok, i think i should go now! It's 8.45pm! NCIS!Ok, bye!

2008-10-19T02:09:00.001-07:00

Is it results time for u'll? Hope u guys did well:D When does school end by the way? Cos' i'm really jealous....I have up to the 10th of December to suffer:D Well,it's not really suffering cause seeing LEMON in school just makes me wanna wake up every morning. He gives me the energy i need....I'm willing to go through 2 months of BORING lessons for him! Oh yeah, does anyone have any ideas what presents to get for a guy for his birthday? His birthday is coming up. I thought of buying him a teddy bear, but he's a boy! Gosh, why cant he be a girl? Hate Mondays! And tmr is a monday! But again, i have to go through monday to get to tuesday! So, i'll just have to bear with it and wait for his birthday. I think i'm even more excited than him LOL. The joy of shopping for presents:D

2008-10-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

Holidays are starting to get boring. All i do is sit in front of the computer the whole day, watch TV...and go out with my mum n my brother. I miss my cousins and family friends...I usually spend my holidays with them. Heather's having her PSLE...Prashanth just finished his exams....I really wanna go out with them! I got sun burned after swimming yesterday! LOL. It's pain! By the way, i have muscles....Santhiya has a picture to prove it:D I am muscular:D YAY! and i am so much taller. Taller than Zhiying and Suk. I've always been taller than Zhiying but Suk has always been taller than me...Until now =) Ok, had a really weird dream last night.It was about Santhiya, Suk, Zhiying, Nat and LEMON. LOL. Zhiying was getting married to _ _ _ :D Me, San, Suk and Nat were the wedding planners and we were planning a red-pink theme for her. And when we were deciding on a dress for her, LEMON appeared and proposed to her saying that he was the one who really loved her n stuff....Well, yeah....And after that, they both got married with a blue cake with a lemon and cherry on top of it:D THE END! But i dont think it will come true. Don't worry. You and _ _ _ make a perfect couple...( Based on everything you told me abt him).....Keep me updated yea? Love you! And sorry Diane, i still haven't figured out who that "ELIZABETH" is....*Still trying*

2008-10-03T04:41:00.000-07:00

Went back to Singapore last Thursday for a holiday but now I'm back. I really enjoyed myself during that one week and i just wanna thank those who made this trip so special and meaningful for me.
Santhiya(for going out with me on Wednesday and treating me to lunch), Suk( for everything; the hugs, the kisses, messages, calls, and for spending time with me), Zhi Ying( for watching the movie with me; i bet on a double decker bus), Jeannica( for not getting angry when we were prank calling), Delane( for being you), Nat( for going out with me on Thurs and giving me advice...You're the best partner anyone could ever have), Sai(for being really nice to me....and letting me feel tall),Kian Leong (for keeping me company whenever I'm bored and for wanting to come to the airport), Aris ( for messaging me every night b4 i sleep).....You guys mean alot to me and life will never be the same without you. I may not be able to inform everyone when i'm coming back but i'll post it on my blog.....Ok, i'm going out for dinner soon! Take care! LOVE YOU'LL!

2008-09-22T04:37:00.000-07:00

I'm bored! I really have to find something fun to do! Games are starting to sound boring to me. I just wanna be with Ricky! He's probably all alone at my uncle's house....Just sitting there and waiting for me to come home. I'll be home soon RickY!
Ok, about LEMON..Am i supposed to tell him or what? How long can i continue hiding my feelings for? It's like the one secret that i'm hiding from him. I tell him EVERYTHING. Including girls stuff. He's just so understanding. Like a personal diary. But there is this one secret that i've been keeping from him. Everytime i see him, i just wanna go up to him and tell him that i love him. Something keeps holding me back. FEAR. Fear of losing him. I just can't take the risk of losing him. I'd rather have him as a friend than not have him at all. There are definitely so many other girls out there who love him. But i'm 100% certain that i'm the one who loves him the most, the one who loses sleep over him, the one who just cant stop thinking about him. If only he knew all these. Every moment spent with him is like a moment spent in heaven. Can't stand the thought of being seperated from him. We're just NOT meant to be seperated. We were united from 2 different countries, 2 different continents, 2 different parts of the world. 2 halves of a heart which combine to make a whole. I love you LEMON!

2008-09-21T02:44:00.000-07:00

4 more days to the school holidays! I'm really looking forward to it...I'll be able to use the computer 24/7 without getting into trouble....I had a weird dream about Lemon last night. Really weird. He came to my house after school and started asking for pink cheese...But we didn't have pink cheese so he went to my neighbours house and asked for a red whale...But they didn't have a red whale...So he came back to my house and we spent some time in my room....We were lying down on the bed when he turned into a teddy bear! A giant yellow one! It was really freaky! But i was kinda relieved when i woke up to realise that it was all a dream...Wonder if he actually likes cheese....Ok,can't wait for tomorrow. I have to tell him about my dream!

LEMON: I think about you every single day and dream about you every night. Why do you keep coming to my dreams? I'm not complaining. Dreaming about you feels nice but i just wanna know WHY. It's like....I just wanna be with you every second of my life. I want you to be my giant teddy bear.

2008-09-11T04:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, there's a 99% chance that i'm coming back to Singapore ( forever)....To some that's good news and to some it's bad...My dad claims that we're not his children anymore and refuses to pay the maintainence. And it's really expensive studying here. The school fees are abt $1800 AUD per month! And if my dad doesn't pay my mum what he is supposed to, we will have to come back. It'll be difficult though. I probably won't even understand a single thing. The syllabus is different. Which means that i'll need some help from you'll....Hate my dad for that! I'll miss LEMON so much! And he doesn't even know that i like him! Or maybe he does... Well, it is kinda obvious. Yeah, i actually cried when my mum was telling me abt it. But if i really have to come back, i'll work really hard and get a gd job so that i'll be able to move here! I really wanna be with him.

2008-09-09T03:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, i think i'm gonna convert this blog into a private one....And only my friends from Singapore are allowed to read it! I still feel close to you'll and....I just love you guys more! Even though i'm crazy abt LEMON! But yeah....Even he's not as important as you'll...or maybe he is....Arghh mixture of feelings right now! I just miss taking the bus with Zhiying and telling her about EVERYTHING! I really have so much to tell you!Ok, tomorrow's Wednesday! Hate it! I just wish that it's the weekend! Ok, i think i should go now! Gonna have dinner soon! Roasted Chicken with Mashed Potatoes! YUM!

2008-09-05T03:53:00.000-07:00

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You're finally 15! May all ur best wishes and dreams come true!

2008-09-05T03:29:00.000-07:00

HELLO EVERYONE! Hmmm sorry for not updating! I was grounded! HAHA. hate it! But yeah....i was rude to my brother...and parents. LOL. Couldn't use the computer, can't watch TV, cant go out.....And i couldnt close my room door!!LOL, suckish! But my grounding period is over now! YAY!! And did i mention my phone was taken away from me? LOL, i'm getting it back after dinner! HAHA i can start messaging again!!
Suk! Hey, i have to tell you something really important....It's about my love life. And it's not just another one of my crushes. THIS IS REAL! I have weird dreams about him, i just cant stand being without him and i wanna spend every single moment of my life with him! LOL. He's probably getting tired running through my mind. Think i'm crazy? I'm not!:D It's true! I'm willing to give up everything for him! Even my phone and my computer....Sounds scary huh? OK! Take care! Steph loves all of you!

2008-08-22T01:13:00.000-07:00

Anyone wants to know how i spent my birthday? It was boring! LOL, my step-dad bought me a birthday cake with cheeries all over. Each cherry represented a wish! Haha, one of my wishes came true!! I really don't understand my feelings. Arghh....My wish came true and yet i'm not happy. I think i really miss Singapore. Life just doesn't feel good anymore. It felt good when i first came here. But now, everything just sucks! I just want my friends back! All of you'll. Life's really hard here and i'm really tired of pretending to be happy. Singapore is better! Or maybe i just need time to adjust. I want Ricky! He has always been there for me and i love him so much! Life without him just feels so weird. Oh yeah, i have an older brother now! He's not my biological brother but he has all the qualities an older brother posseses. His name is David. He's probably the only good thing about coming here. Haha, he's a perfect older brother! Haha:D OMG. I think i love him more than i love my biological brother! This is so weird and i think he's gonna freak when he finds out. LOL! He's nicer and more caring! Jess thinks we should go out...But it'll be so weird. Imagine going out with your brother! how freaky is that?? LOL! Ok, i think i should get off the computer now! Ok everyone, take care!
~..Steph..~

2008-08-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday tomorrow! Reminder to people who forget birthdays easily. LOL, this year, it's different. It's the first time that i'm having my birthday out of Singapore. It feels so weird. I wish i'm in Singapore to celebrate my birthday with you guys! You know what the worst part is? My birthday falls on a Monday! Which means that I have Outdoor Ed. Hate it! All my friends are in a different class! Oh well, nvm. I'll just have to pretend that i don't actually care! I'd rather be in Singapore skipping classes with our PPE group! It would be more fun than being here.I'm actually starting to miss Singapore really badly! I don't want to be here!I want to go back! Things are just too different here! Ok, i shouldn't be thinking about sad things the day before my birthday! Common tests are over huh? Hope you'll did well! Don't forget to update me on ur results...Especially Zhiying, Suk and San! And Esther...But she doesn't really come online! Ok, Take care everyone!
~...Steph luvs you...~

2008-08-09T05:18:00.000-07:00

My step-dad's coming back from Singapore tomorrow night! Haha, he went back on Wednesday to settle some stuff...It's kinda weird without him around! We need him! The house became so messy and we're getting outta control without anyone telling us what to do...LOL!
My birthday's coming up! 18 August!! I'll really kill anyone who forgets my birthday! Haha! I'm turning evil!!!! Ok, don't forget my birthday! Guess what? I saw kangaroos, cows and horses today! We were driving past them! There are lots of animals here! And they're walking around freely...I asked my mum to stop the car...Wanted to touch the kangaroo! She said NO! Can u believe it? Well, she said the kangaroo would probably kick me! So yeah, guess it was for my own good....Ok, i gotta log off now! Have to contninue my homework! TAKE CARE everyone!
I LOVE YOU!

2008-08-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY! Back to school tomorrow! Well, i went to church today! Yay! I haven't went to church ever since i came here...I learnt one quote today....
"NOTHING CAN SEPERATE US FROM THE LOVE OF GOD,WHICH IS IN CHRIST."
Alright, i'll have to reflect on how it relates to me...Hmmm.....Was Audrey's birthday yesterday! Glad she liked the post that was dedicated to her! Suk, why did you change with Jaime??? LOL, i wanted to know how it felt like....Nvm, remember to tell me all about it once you're done!! Alot of people are kinda happy that i'm over CP. Well, i'm happy too! She turns out to be a really good friend....And when i think about it, it's weird to know that i actually had a crush on her! LOL.
Well, i'm straight now and proud of it! Ok, i gotta go for dinner now! Take care everyone!
STEPH LOVES YOU!

2008-08-02T05:58:00.000-07:00

Hey again! This post is dedicated to Audrey!
HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY!
HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY!
HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY!
HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY!
HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY!
HaPpY bIrThDaY! HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!HaPpY bIrThDaY!
Well, May all your best wishes and dreams come true....And i love ya!
*To EVERYONE WHO READS MY BLOG: please let me know if your birthday is coming...As you know, i'm a very forgetful person*

2008-08-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

Yay! It's friday! End of school week, start of weekend! Hmmm...I think my mum's friend is coming over during the weekend! Hell excited! Love them!! Wanted to go shopping today but we had visitors so....I had to sacrifice my shopping time for them! LOL, probably wish that they'll never come over! they're boring anyway! So yeah... I think i'll be coming back on the 15th of November! For all those who want to know, I DON'T have a boyfriend! And i'll never have one until i'm 16....or maybe 18....YOUNG RELATIONSHIPS DON'T LAST! BTW, i'm a wedding planner now lol! Planning a wedding for 2 of my friends...They're getting married (even though they still haven't realised their love for each other)....I'm still decorating the Invitation card...Zhi Ying, Suk, San.....You promised to let me plan your wedding for u'll so do remember to let me know in advance...And Make sure they're good guys! Ok, tag Replies:
{DEAD} Hello! I miss you too....ALOT....Miss taking the bus with you and talking about guys and CP....We're friends now and i'm so over her! I may be coming back on the 15th of
November! I'll let you know when it's confirmed!
{Suk} Hey, sorry, i had to delete ur last tag! LOL, i dont want the whole world to know....
LOL, i'm curious! How did you find my blog?? Yeah, especially when we were prank
calling in the ambulance! that was so fun...Penelope could recognise your voice though..
We'll have to work on that! Take care k? LOVE YA!
{Adeline} Hello! Life's great here! I'll link you ASAP...And yeah, i miss her!She gives good advice!

2008-07-29T02:57:00.000-07:00

Hello again! Here's an update of my life here!
*People here are really nice and they helped me settle in. Well, love the school, love my friends and hmm....LOVE THE GUYS! lol:D Haha! Life here is great but i still miss Singapore...Miss my really good friends...Zhiying, Santhiya, Suk, Elizabeth, Diane, Nat....Too many to list... and i miss the food!! As they say, Singapore's a food paradise! Treasure the food and the weather while u're still there! Life's really different here! It's winter and the temperature can go really low at night...KIWI is so cute!!!! Arghh...he's really nice too!! Really really nice...
*meant to make Anisha and some others jealous*
Anyway, i have to carry on with my homework now! Take care everyone! Love you guys!

2008-07-27T00:18:00.000-07:00

1.the person who last tag you is?
Anisha
2.your relationship with him/her is?
We're friends....
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
She did alot of things for me....
5.The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
Can't really remember
6.If he/she become your lover, you will?
She's a girl and i'm straight!
7.If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
Nothing. She's perfect the way she is.
8.If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
I dont know. But i don't think we'll be enemies.
9. If he/she becomes your enemy,the reson will be...?
I talk too much?
10.The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is?
Find a hot aussie guy for her!
11.Your overall impression of him/her is?
Enthusiastic, fun to talk to...Boy-crazy!
12.How you think people around you will feel about you?
I don't know...I'm not them...
13.The characters you love of yourself are?
Too many to list...
14.On the contrary, the chracters you hate of yourself are?
I talk too much.
15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Myself.
16. For people that care and like you, say something to them?
"I love you too"
17.Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you:
1)Zhi Ying
2)Santhiya
3)Elizabeth
4)Ryan
5)Nicholas
6)Anisha
7)Sukanya
8)FLY
9)Sharon
10)Diane
18.Who is no.6 having a relationship with?
I dont know:D
19.is no.9 a male or female?
Female:D
20.If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
No.They're both girls:D
21.Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
They don't even know each other=)
22.Where is no.2 studying at?
PLMGSS:D
23.Talk something casually about no.1.
Love her and she's nice:D:D
24.Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
Yeah, it didn't work.
25.Where does no.9 live at?
I dont think she wants the whole world to know.
26.What colour does no.4 like?
I dont know.
27.Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
Nope, they dont know each other.
28.Does no.7 like no.2?
They're best friends!
29.How do you get to know no.2?
We were classmates in P1,P2,S1 and S2...
30.Does no.1 have any pet?
I dont think so.
31.Will you woo no.3?
Nope:D She's just a friend and she's a girl!
32.Is no.7 the funniest person in the world?
Nope:D
33.What is no.10 doing now?
Probably studying:D

2008-05-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, Back to blogging again....Thanks to Anisha for helping me think of the blog URL. NZ trip is in 3 days time! I'll finally get to experience being in a really really cold country....And i'll get to spend more time with NAT and Esther Chew:D Moving to Perth on the first week of June. For those who have not been there, it's a really nice place...I love the beach. It's so clean. And the best thing is that the Australians are really friendly....Especially my neighbours:D Looking forward to starting school there but at the same time, i dont wanna leave my Singapore friends...school's ending and there'll be alot of holiday homework...But i wont have to do it:D